A Spiffing Start

Happy New Year.

Instead of stating my New Year resolutions first and then forgetting all about them five minutes later, this year I'll do it the other way round. Do it first, and then mention that it was a New Year resolution. One of the resolutions this year is to avoid stating the obvious (with or without the air of profundity). So I've resisted the urge to use the phrase "Another year has gone by" in the first post of the year- a temptation which 13,328 people worldwide could not resist.

So far 2009 has been good. Barack Obama has been sworn in as the 44th President of the United States, Pakistan is now at least admitting that there are terrorists within its borders (though it still claims it's not funding them), and there have been dramatic events in my love life. Now I know that you're dying to know what these dramatic events are but please let's discuss the important things first(!).

Obama's inaugural speech was quite refreshing, to be honest. After 8 years of wondering whether political speech-writing as a profession was dead in the US, Obama's writers came like cold showers in the scorching heat of Bushland. And his ability to put life into those words is no less laudable. In these troubled times, people need the confidence that his conviction brings, more than anything else probably. I'm sure that if we can all remain positive this recession will pass faster than last night's burritos.

Pakistan's admission though is less reassuring. They are infamous for going back on their word. But staying on that positive note we discussed, this may be the beginning of a (forced) turnaround in their foreign policy, if you can call terrorism that.

And as for my love life, after seeing Even and the Oops-My-Button-Popped girl making out in the power room, I have taken a vow of abstinence. I still have dreams about it- what I saw, not the vow. Her...er... larger-than-life assets pressed against his face. Yuk! Yuk! Yuk! Yuk! I was looking for some spare screws (straight face) and was told to go check with the carpenter in the power room. Well, there were screws there alright, it's just they were already in use. After my shock subsided, I decided that given my unbelievably atrocious taste in men, my continuing to keep sex as an option on the table would clearly be a mistake. So no more nookie for me (and for Obama it seems, though he was talking about a different kind of disarmament).

And let me tell you, life looks a lot better for it (disarmament on both fronts). I am sleeping less, I am being less friendly with people and my TTK for the past week have been less than 3 per day. (Threats To Kill. Really, keep up.)

So with Obama eschewing violence, Pakistan denying it, and me fighting it (only barely though), the balance of the world is being maintained. Hopefully the equilibrium will last long.