Let me tell you about Rehan...

I had a funny dream last night.

I was at a party in one of my more cynical phases, when Rehan turned up.

For the uninitiated Rehan's one of those guys you don't talk about. Like a third nipple. Always there but not really something you want to discuss over tea.

He was looking good (okay, he was looking incredibly gorgeous; i am trying hard to forget that about him so bear with such understatements) and he came up to me with a smile dancing on his lips. "You were lovely in the movie,", he said (!)(for the record, i am not a movie star). I smiled wryly and said, "You were lovely on stage". He's not a movie star either. Or any kind of stage performer. It was just one of those dream roles, I guess. And we started talking about something or the other - I forget what. Someone called out to him, someone decidedly female and skimpily clad though I couldn't see who it was. It was just one of those skimpily clad voices. And he said he'd be right back. As he said that and walked away, I smiled to myself thinking those were the exact words with which we'd parted two months ago. I'd hung around a while then but had finally left disappointed. This time I knew better than to wait. Was just smiling at myself sardonically wondering why we lied to each other, when I felt his hand on my waist. I looked up and saw him standing close to me, very close. He was smiling curiously and he leaned in and whispered in my ears, "I came back the last time."

I wasn't laughing when I woke up.

August Endings

All those who laughed loudly and said "Bah humbug!" when I surmised I'd post more often in the last post, take a point. Oh, go ahead, take two. Those who whooped and smiled hopefully, I am sorry to have let you down. Perhaps you can draw comfort from the fact that you're not alone.
I have been out of touch for good reason. My life is all askew. Professionally of course. Personally it was never really on a straight course anyway. There has been tons of work, and wading through it has taken more effort then I would have considered myself willing to make. There's also been tons of political roundabout, just to make the work more pleasant. I have been handling the whole situation admirably though. The policy of repress and push on has been applied successfully in this sector as well. (Really, i think that policy is The Secret to happiness.) So I am working hard unsure of whether I really want to, even unsure of whether I'm happy doing it. All feeling has been obliterated from my brain. Powering on.
Meanwhile, Gary and I are well on the way to Amityville. We've been talking to each other quite a bit. About the most carefully frivolous subjects possible but quite a bit. Which has meant that I feel better about my relationship skills. Clearly, I am the mistress of superficiality when it comes to human relations but at least, I am a mistress of something.
Even is still somewhat of a sore spot, but overall I think I've made good progress from the days of obsessing about every woman he talks to. Am now only spending a few hours a day debating whether he's a lost cause or not (as opposed to twenty-four). It is over in my head now, I just have little to move on to. But I'm sure something will come along. It always does.
And when it does, you know who won't be the first to know.
(No points for that one; that was just for fun.)