Why Aren't (More) People Reading My Blog?

Now this is not going to be one of those iniquities of life where I make the few who do read this blog pay for it by coming up with answers to this painfully vexing question. Though feel free to post them if you want to. I'm just going to ramble for a while about what I think the possible reasons are.
Good, now that we've shaken off the less determined readers and fans, let's get all the gossip going.
Kidding!
Reason 1: People find it boring. Now this can only happen if someone's at least read my blog once. In which case, it would have been nice if they'd left a comment saying so and maybe if they really felt like it, why they were bored. Since they didn't, I'm at a loss to resolve this particular issue. Nevertheless I shall try. We shall sex this blog up (within Google limits) and put in intermittent episodes of mindless violence. Just to keep everyone interested.

Reason 2: I haven't spread links far and wide. Now this is quite likely the most relevant reason. I am a little shy of having my friends and acquaintances read the intimate details of my life (I'm okay with sharing them with complete strangers). But I shall do my best to overcome this shyness and put up links at every damn location I can find. http://fictionaluniverse.blogspot.com/
Starting here.

Reason 3: You're not telling your friends about this awesome blog you read. Now that's just mean. Why would you do that? Have I ever done anything to hurt you? Haven't I bared ALL to keep you entertained? (That's not a cheap trick to get new readers to go over all the posts looking for the bare-all one.) Are you beginning to feel guilty about this? Are you now going to tell all your friends about this? Good. Because if you're not, you're going to hell. I'll see you there.

Reason 4: This has become too personal for you to share. Now I appreciate all those secret admirers who hide behind weird nicknames and shudder to declare and share their true feelings with the rest of the world. I do. But if I can do it, anyone can. So buck up and spread the word. There's a good blog in town and it's only going to get better with your help. C'mon, do it. Be my hero.

Reason 5: I don't talk about current affairs. Of the world. Well, I have caught on to this trend and I'm there. I shall endeavour to work in current affairs in every post from now on. A new blog shall be written, like history was with Barack Obama's election to the President's post. All those who've hung in there over the rough times and steady, will see the difference. Change has come to this blog. And I for one, will embrace it with open arms and flowing ink.

That shall be all for now, my friends. If any other reasons should occur to me, I shall put them up. But until then, it's your turn to put up yours.